Learning how to handle vodka but NOT a world champion wrestler!

This is more like it! The loon/gem or just plain crazy Paulo Brand set me up with his mate Utkur in Samarkant, Uz. After a litle nap Utkur showed up to show me around. Initially he assumed that I wanted to visit this site and that statue but after explaining what I really wanted to see (life) off we went. Firstly to a restaurent for locals, which was pretty much in someone's back garden, then coffee, a quick meeting with Utkur's lovely family and then onto his friends stag do. I learned so much about life here for these guys and was made to feel most welcome by all. All the guys are friends from early school and were 24 which is the most common age for an arranged marriage. Much laughter, vodka toasts and photos later I was aware that a world champion wrestler (74kg division) was part of the group. Proof was offered and seen on a mobile phone video of him nailing a competitor at the world championships in Russia. So being the same weight and fuelled with half a dozen large vodkas I fancied a shot at the champ! So a very short time later I was slightly outclassed(!?) despite me being the Middlesex judu champ when I was 12. The referee did however, spot an infringement and I was awarded the win on a technicality...Cue mass laughter all round! A top night with a top bunch of guys.

Bukarah, Uzbekistan

Over the past few days I'm firmly on the old Silk Route with more historic buildings aplenty. Thankfully though me and Scott met Ellie who is one of those types that reads the lonely planet and helped to ensure that I left the place with some knowledge of what's what for a change! Thanks Ellie.

Khiva, Uzbekistan

Bloody hell this is hot! Onto Khirva then...One of those ancient walled medeival places that's not changed a bit probably for hundreds of years. Did the usual things and ended the day keeping a promise to a right little Sir Alan Sugar called 'Daston' who was selling beer and water on a tiny table ouside his mum's house! His English was actually pretty good and we spent the time on his porch with two generations of his family chatting as best a we could. Nice.

The gas craters, Darvaza

A desert ride to our wild camp in the desert (strange that) was next up which offered the chance to visit the Darvaza gas craters. These have been left burning for twenty years + apparently after a Russian search for gas went a bit wrong, although they clearly found some! Took a proper old russian Transit van equivilant up and over the sand dunes the few k's to get there. Wow.

Ashgabat, Turkmenistan

Ooohhh. Some time ago I felt a bit 'delicate' after a messy one with a mate called 'Cav' on a ferry but this was something else! Almost threw up after 1km out of 660km but somehow after 5mins rest in the shade and a litre of water held it together!? Not easy though, with the temp reported as up to 45 deg, a nasty sandstorm for what felt like all of it meaning fighting to keep the bike straight and upright as it was a crosswind oh and the visibility was crap. So, I rolled into Ashgabat on my last legs too tired for anything other than bed. Had a late start the following day though which meant a quick walk around the place and a few pics before the off. Impressive and sterile would best describe the place with its immaculate, grand, modern buildings and monuments/statues of the late president Mr Turkmenbashi. Sterile as police and the army are on every corner (no joke) and by 11pm the place was deserted. Oh well.

Clubbing in Turkmenbashi, Turkmenistan

The nightmare finally ended and I was in a hotel room in the town of Turkmenbashi. Hungry, thirsty and tired after all that had gone before. The last one I can deal with however so, moments later me + 3 were in a taxi into town to some restaurent/disco place. Refuelled and met a great local guy named Arslan, his fiancée Masha and her friend Baha and then out came the vodka...oh dear. A short unknown time later and I'd been invited along to 'Club Chaika,' and what a laugh it was! They played some what I can only describe as 'Turkmen House' with the odd western tune thrown in occassionally. Got pretty mashed up, thankfully though Arslan dropped me off at my hotel and only then I suddenly recalled that in 3 hours a HUGE ride across the desert was on and initially we had to ride as a group with our local official. Ah...

Marooned on The Caspian Sea

Day one - Left our hotel at 09:00 for the short ride to Baku’s port and another slow, slow border crossing was in progress. This time though it involved a boat (ferry?/liner?) trip for the crossing to Turkmenistan. Much boredom later we followed the train cargo containers into the hull of a worryingly old looking rusty Russian ship. Oh well, never judge a book by its cover and all that... Oooohhh, how wrong was the person who said that! The ship (cargo) clearly doesn’t cater for those mad or desperate enough to use its services. Dilapidated would describe everything about the interior and its cabins. I won’t go into detail but suffice to say that some of you would have cried, you know who you are... So, “time for some sleep and don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Like I can prevent that from happening...

Day two – 08:00 Awoken by the unmistakable sound of the anchors being realised. Excellent, that only took 15hrs! But it looks like my plan to ‘eat light’ to prolong the inevitable is a waste of time though. We’ve been told that the Turkmenistan port is closed due to the wind being over 25kph(!?) so we’re moored off shore in a queue for an unknown time... Still, chin up and all that. I continued dipping into my rations but me being me plumbed for the local tuna rather than get ripped off with the overpriced ‘John West tuna steak.’ Oh dear. My offering it turned out was seaweed (I think) with some unknown ‘bits’ floating around in a warm sea water/oil mix. Absolutely disgusting. Still, in a strange way I’m enjoying this, it’s all very Micheal Palinesque, who’s one of my heroes. Opened a sweepstake book before bed on the time of the first bike of this wreck...$17 winner takes all. I went for an immediate time as it gave the biggest time spread.

Day three – Despite sleeping for most of the day yesterday I actually slept all night. A hot meal of chicken and chips seemed to raise everyone’s spirits and I’m coping with this better than most I think. For the first time we’ve had some genuine free time and I’m getting stuck into my ‘A State Of Trance 405’ and onwards. I haven’t been able to listen to them whilst riding as the deep rumble of the engine and wind noise don’t work well with this type of music. But my god, it’s making me miss my lovely GTR girls. OK...and the rest of you ;-) The sea looks like it did yesterday and I’ve heard we’ll be docking late tonight at the earliest. Looks like Werner will be $17 richer. Ended the night playing poker and ‘shithead’ (Cape Town rules) whilst drinking the last beer on the ship! This could end up being an international incident if we’re not off soon...

Day four – Woke at 04:00 to the noise of crew members up and about, something was to happen surely? Well it did, finally at 08:00 we hauled anchor and were heading in. As expected the border procedure was LONG. Nothing happened up to us finally being allowed entry at 18:00 except some paperwork and lots of waiting in the heat, 36deg in the shade!

Azerbaijan

Not an enjoyable couple of days riding as most of it was spent listening to the strange noises that ‘Des’ has started to make. He feels very tired too, which is a worry. Because of that, the journey from Tblisi to Baku was made riding just ahead of the support truck. Our excellent mechanic, Werner, finally confirmed that I wasn’t going mad when I rode alongside him and he confirmed hearing the grindey, rattley sound. So, I tip toed the 318km into Baku after entering Azerbaijan the night before at 23:00 after we endured the slowest, least efficient border crossing so far... A small group of us rode into the nearest town, in the pitch black and were immediately mobbed by a crowd wanting to know about the bikes, us, where we’re from etc. Fairly soon the police arrived to escort us out of town to our hotel. Mad. On awakening the first thing that struck me is that although Azerbaijan still has many old buildings, uniforms and cars, they are all perfectly restored. They seem to take a great pride in their belongings and country, which made me realise why they impound all vehicles 72hrs after arrival and they’re keen to move on a bunch of dirty foreigners.
As for Baku, a bit of an odd place but I can’t say for sure as I helped, OK watched, Werna service and pinpoint my bikes faults over four hours up to 23:00. They have been identified as broken engine bars and bash plate (rattling) and a worn chain and sproket (grinding). Werna’s instructed/ordered me to go a little easier from now on, maybe a different riding style from my old four cylinder Fazer is needed. I think I’ll take his advice...

Georgia, the road to Tbilisi

OK, so it's a train track. I stuck to the road but took this shot for my dad and brother who are train spotters! LOL

Georgia. Seems like I've gone back to the west with this catholic country. Definately no more mosques, tea, figs etc here. Dangerous roads again, like Romania. The ride to Tblisi was a bit of a culture shock with the place being totally run down and very grim. On entering Tblisi though things looked much better. Again, great statues, building and women again! Think the girl from the Bond film QOS, she's everywhere.

A rest day the following day meant a night out. Deceided on wine for the night and overall a good late night, got to know a couple of the guys a little bit more.

Incidents are now becoming more frequent in the group now. 'Dental Floss Dave' had an off (cut and bruised) , six of the group are suffering from food poisoning/a bug, the Azerbaijan visas have not arrived and I've a sweat rash (honest!) on my knackers! Finally got some anticeptic cream for them after trying to explain, short of getting them out on the counter, in the grim chemist!

An eventful day

Wow, what an actioned packed day it was. (30th June, three weeks in). Deceided on a 12pm leave from the hotel in Erzerum instead of the 9am official time to catch up on these blogs and just relax instead of getting to the pre camp waypoint of some ruins (yawn) and hanging around there for 3-4 hours.

Five of the group had been recently been fined by police $100US each for breaking the 70kph limit for bikes, yes that's 45mph! WTF? So I decided on a nice steady day at 115kph on more amazing roads in so many different landscapes it was untrue. At this sort of speed I can hear my ipod, so the fantastic 'Ministy Chilled' album I've been listening to was perfect. Along with the constant deep rumble from my bike's big single cylinder engine being a constant reminder of where I am and what I'm doing. So, some nice smooth riding until the last 100km where I decided to seek out some food. I ended up in a tiny deserted village in the middle of nowhere and eventually found a 'cafe.' It turned out though that they only sold cola, water and tea!? I then met and spent an hour with 'Yilmaz' who again, although unable to communicate with me by speach treated my like a long lost brother. He wouldn't accept any money for my drink and we played three games of table tennis (lost 2-1, shark). Great time. I've now come to realise that it's random events like these that make the trip and the idea of rushing from hotel to hotel like some others is not a good move. Also, removing my helmet and smiling totally changes peoples stare into one of almost unheard of hospitality.

Event 2. After my participation in the Turkey v England match I saw a bloody great big hill/small mountain (what's the difference anyway?) and thought "I fancy that!" Ten minutes later and me and 'Des'* were sat high up looking across the earth as far as the eye (or headlight) can see.

Event 3. Off roading again to the incorrect gps point for my wild camp site. I took a road to within a km and decided on another spot of offroading through a small river, a farm and crop fields. Bribed the farm owners a bag of nuts/mints to ride between their cattle/chickens/horses and through their fields but ultimately it was the wrong spot.

Event 4. As I was doing my own thing I missed this one but on arrival at the correct spot for camping it quickly became apparent that something was up...It turned out that the group had been enjoying a few beers locally and got done by the old 'charge per small glass and not by can con' by all account things turned a bit nasty and a flash point was only just averted as some 'heavies' were brought in. Maybe connected I don't know but I got stopped by some military police just down the road but after giving them my best Czech they cleared off!

* 'Des' my motorcycle named after my late grandfather who was a real adventurer himself and would've been very proud of what I'm doing...

Erzerum, Turkey

Where? Well, it's eastern Turkey about 150km from Iran and 200km from Iraq. It's as about as close as I'll get to either in terms of distance and it's people. Very Islamic people, difficult to find a beer anywhere and even my search for some new deodrant took 45mins, I had to settle for a roll on called 'She.' Not sure if that last bit is anything to do with them being Islamic though?
Anyway, after the sunrise the lights went green and I was off...Long long empty roads that went straight to the horizon, they really were like those pictures you see of long distance adventure travel. Riding on my own is quicker than in a group plus with the extraordinary fuel range of my Tenere (I reckon 300m+ is achievable) I raced into Erzerum. I actually got there an hour before the next bike took second place. The hotel had been changed and the gps coordinates were not correct so I stopped nearby to ask for directions at a taxi rank. These taxi drivers (OK, not the one on the right!) were so friendly and insisted that I sat and had tea with them, a common pastime in this part of the world. My Turkish was as much as their English but no matter we had a bit of a laugh!