Learning how to handle vodka but NOT a world champion wrestler!

This is more like it! The loon/gem or just plain crazy Paulo Brand set me up with his mate Utkur in Samarkant, Uz. After a litle nap Utkur showed up to show me around. Initially he assumed that I wanted to visit this site and that statue but after explaining what I really wanted to see (life) off we went. Firstly to a restaurent for locals, which was pretty much in someone's back garden, then coffee, a quick meeting with Utkur's lovely family and then onto his friends stag do. I learned so much about life here for these guys and was made to feel most welcome by all. All the guys are friends from early school and were 24 which is the most common age for an arranged marriage. Much laughter, vodka toasts and photos later I was aware that a world champion wrestler (74kg division) was part of the group. Proof was offered and seen on a mobile phone video of him nailing a competitor at the world championships in Russia. So being the same weight and fuelled with half a dozen large vodkas I fancied a shot at the champ! So a very short time later I was slightly outclassed(!?) despite me being the Middlesex judu champ when I was 12. The referee did however, spot an infringement and I was awarded the win on a technicality...Cue mass laughter all round! A top night with a top bunch of guys.

Bukarah, Uzbekistan

Over the past few days I'm firmly on the old Silk Route with more historic buildings aplenty. Thankfully though me and Scott met Ellie who is one of those types that reads the lonely planet and helped to ensure that I left the place with some knowledge of what's what for a change! Thanks Ellie.

Khiva, Uzbekistan

Bloody hell this is hot! Onto Khirva then...One of those ancient walled medeival places that's not changed a bit probably for hundreds of years. Did the usual things and ended the day keeping a promise to a right little Sir Alan Sugar called 'Daston' who was selling beer and water on a tiny table ouside his mum's house! His English was actually pretty good and we spent the time on his porch with two generations of his family chatting as best a we could. Nice.

The gas craters, Darvaza

A desert ride to our wild camp in the desert (strange that) was next up which offered the chance to visit the Darvaza gas craters. These have been left burning for twenty years + apparently after a Russian search for gas went a bit wrong, although they clearly found some! Took a proper old russian Transit van equivilant up and over the sand dunes the few k's to get there. Wow.

Ashgabat, Turkmenistan

Ooohhh. Some time ago I felt a bit 'delicate' after a messy one with a mate called 'Cav' on a ferry but this was something else! Almost threw up after 1km out of 660km but somehow after 5mins rest in the shade and a litre of water held it together!? Not easy though, with the temp reported as up to 45 deg, a nasty sandstorm for what felt like all of it meaning fighting to keep the bike straight and upright as it was a crosswind oh and the visibility was crap. So, I rolled into Ashgabat on my last legs too tired for anything other than bed. Had a late start the following day though which meant a quick walk around the place and a few pics before the off. Impressive and sterile would best describe the place with its immaculate, grand, modern buildings and monuments/statues of the late president Mr Turkmenbashi. Sterile as police and the army are on every corner (no joke) and by 11pm the place was deserted. Oh well.

Clubbing in Turkmenbashi, Turkmenistan

The nightmare finally ended and I was in a hotel room in the town of Turkmenbashi. Hungry, thirsty and tired after all that had gone before. The last one I can deal with however so, moments later me + 3 were in a taxi into town to some restaurent/disco place. Refuelled and met a great local guy named Arslan, his fiancée Masha and her friend Baha and then out came the vodka...oh dear. A short unknown time later and I'd been invited along to 'Club Chaika,' and what a laugh it was! They played some what I can only describe as 'Turkmen House' with the odd western tune thrown in occassionally. Got pretty mashed up, thankfully though Arslan dropped me off at my hotel and only then I suddenly recalled that in 3 hours a HUGE ride across the desert was on and initially we had to ride as a group with our local official. Ah...

Marooned on The Caspian Sea

Day one - Left our hotel at 09:00 for the short ride to Baku’s port and another slow, slow border crossing was in progress. This time though it involved a boat (ferry?/liner?) trip for the crossing to Turkmenistan. Much boredom later we followed the train cargo containers into the hull of a worryingly old looking rusty Russian ship. Oh well, never judge a book by its cover and all that... Oooohhh, how wrong was the person who said that! The ship (cargo) clearly doesn’t cater for those mad or desperate enough to use its services. Dilapidated would describe everything about the interior and its cabins. I won’t go into detail but suffice to say that some of you would have cried, you know who you are... So, “time for some sleep and don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Like I can prevent that from happening...

Day two – 08:00 Awoken by the unmistakable sound of the anchors being realised. Excellent, that only took 15hrs! But it looks like my plan to ‘eat light’ to prolong the inevitable is a waste of time though. We’ve been told that the Turkmenistan port is closed due to the wind being over 25kph(!?) so we’re moored off shore in a queue for an unknown time... Still, chin up and all that. I continued dipping into my rations but me being me plumbed for the local tuna rather than get ripped off with the overpriced ‘John West tuna steak.’ Oh dear. My offering it turned out was seaweed (I think) with some unknown ‘bits’ floating around in a warm sea water/oil mix. Absolutely disgusting. Still, in a strange way I’m enjoying this, it’s all very Micheal Palinesque, who’s one of my heroes. Opened a sweepstake book before bed on the time of the first bike of this wreck...$17 winner takes all. I went for an immediate time as it gave the biggest time spread.

Day three – Despite sleeping for most of the day yesterday I actually slept all night. A hot meal of chicken and chips seemed to raise everyone’s spirits and I’m coping with this better than most I think. For the first time we’ve had some genuine free time and I’m getting stuck into my ‘A State Of Trance 405’ and onwards. I haven’t been able to listen to them whilst riding as the deep rumble of the engine and wind noise don’t work well with this type of music. But my god, it’s making me miss my lovely GTR girls. OK...and the rest of you ;-) The sea looks like it did yesterday and I’ve heard we’ll be docking late tonight at the earliest. Looks like Werner will be $17 richer. Ended the night playing poker and ‘shithead’ (Cape Town rules) whilst drinking the last beer on the ship! This could end up being an international incident if we’re not off soon...

Day four – Woke at 04:00 to the noise of crew members up and about, something was to happen surely? Well it did, finally at 08:00 we hauled anchor and were heading in. As expected the border procedure was LONG. Nothing happened up to us finally being allowed entry at 18:00 except some paperwork and lots of waiting in the heat, 36deg in the shade!