Belgium – A box of chocolates

Writing this after the event I’ve much to type but don’t quite know how to such is the disjointed experience that we had of the country. Perhaps a good way to start is to slightly change good old Mrs Gump’s turn of phrase, as in this case it’s a country that’s a box of chocolates. There’s plenty of conflicting flavours to be found, with our first being in the Poirot like French speaking south. Still searching for that something different we found it as spotting a huge space rocket just off the motorway provoked an 18km U-turn to what was the European Space Agency. A couple of hours of trying to find English text amongst the three national languages during what was otherwise a fairly interesting audio guided tour then followed. Only fairly as it quickly became apparent that Belgium has something of an inferior complex and takes every opportunity to put its hand in the air like some annoying kid in the classroom. On this occasion the European Space Agency was made to look like the Belgium Space Agency with the partner countries hardly given a mention at all.

With something new behind us it was something old as we stayed in the centre of Brussels and were presented with what has to win our award for the most impressive ‘old town square’ in Europe. Formerly a royal district, it showed as the architecture around the square is simply incredible although the big tourist attraction of what is essentially a replica 12” statue of a baby pissing or the ‘Manneken-Pis’ was very ‘is that it?’ like. Elsewhere the whole ‘Capital of Europe’ theme was thrust around at every opportunity with plenty of blue Euro flags around.

On our way out of Brussels it was back to something new as we visited the ‘Atomium,’ which unlike Mirka I’d never heard of and that included reading our ‘Rough Guides’ lowdown on Brussels attractions. What we found was an undoubtedly impressive structure that was part of some sort of ‘Don’t call us a poor man’s Paris’ Expo in 1958. However, after departing with €22 and a visit inside the only five spheres that are available I struggled to recall a time where I’ve been more underwhelmed which if you know me is really saying something! It comprised of a viewing area and an exhibition about how great immigration is. You could almost smell the vegan food coming from the two food areas. Other than a row with some old bag after I refused to spend €0.5 after spending a penny in a scummy toilet that was Brussels.

Bruges though in the Dutch speaking north was more like it. Strictly old style, it lacks the modern touches and attention seeking of Brussels. A medieval tower looms large over the pretty square and the place had a nice laid back feel about it partly thanks to a lack of groups of tourists. A couple of glasses of the excellent Leffe in a pub rounded off the day and pretty much the trip as an uneventful ride back home completed the six week and 6,000 mile ride. So what next then? Well a bit like having a blow out at a carvery restaurant, the past six weeks will take a little digesting. There may be though, time to sneak in a little dessert before closing. We’ll see…