"Sank Yoo Very Merch!!!!!!!!!"

So then mini trip to Morocco, here we go.

Day one down to just past Bordeaux was long, boring and painful. Let's carry on from every other trip here and have a moan. It's only taken 60,000 miles and seven years to conclude that my Uvex Enduro Carbon helmet is bloody awful. Comfortable when put on, yes. Looks good, yes. Lightweight, yes. But oh my god at any speed above 50 mph it is unbearable. And so it began. First fuel stop off comes the flimsy peak. Better but a bit like awaking from surgery and being told your testicular cancer has been cured as they're now in the bin. Actually now writing this from southern Spain all vents on the helmet have been taped over and I've just bashed off the rear vent/spoiler thing. It's now bearable except for when the visor doesn't close properly and rattles around. Which is nearly always. If I wasn't so tight (actually no, poor) I'd have stumped up the £80 to have my Schuberth DHL'ed down which I inexplicably decided not to bring. Almost as inexplicable as buying a replacement Uvex after South America. Jesus. So helmet rant already done what else? Well the ride down needed to be long and as a result was, as previously stated, unsurprisingly boring. So best to introduce the other three guys from left to right;

Charlie (a young Grant from 2009's RTW trip) - Triumph Tiger 800. A 'farm boy.' Loves hunting and knows about animals that I've never even heard of. They don't sell those in Tesco's you see. Farted in the ship's shop before we'd even left port which upset the French shop assistant. "Sank yoo very merch!!!!!!!!!" That should set the tone then... Dev (Rolf Harris) - Yamaha Tenere XT660Z. Did the Morocco trip in 2014 with me and has also done the Royal Enfield Himalayas tour. Other than that has lent me a bucket load of cash for me to do my house, which I've still not paid back. A good samaritan. Sando (Not sure. The Honey Monster?) Yamaha Tenere XT1200Z. Gadget man. Loves it. Good impressionist, notably Jimmy Saville, Borat and the French shop assistant that Charlie upset on the boat with his fart. Looking forward to more. Impressions that is!

Next stop, over the top to Spain...